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But I now knew what was concealed beneath them. As she hurried away from me, I found myself running my eyes over her body, picturing her in various states of undress.Strangely, all this focus on Alexis and my fantasising was not triggering my ability at all. If nothing else, this fact kept me from acting. My entire life had been spent in fear of losing control. Actively lusting after a woman with nothing happening? I was enjoying the sheer novelty of it.I had no idea if this would last. The feel of my ability had changed completely. It used to feel like a raging torrent, barely contained by the leaky sea-wall of my will. It now felt like a cavernously deep, but calm pool - lapping gently at the edges of my mind. Insistent, but no longer overpowering.After Ben came back with the baby, life began settling back to almost normal. It took a few weeks, but Alexis started relaxing around me. She joked and talked almost like before, although she still made sure to avoid being alone with. Amanda, you don't own this mission, you can't take it over as a dictatorship." Bullshit, Gustav," she said with irritation. "I'm not telling you how to go into biology. I'm not dictating how anybody presents astronomy, or physics, or any other friggin' thing. I'm head of the sociology contingent here, I've consulted with John in particular and all of you in general on all but two occasions, and only one is still a relevant point and that only to the extent of non-contradiction. And all I'm asking is that you don't mess with my program any more than I'll mess with yours. Now put your ass back where you can sit on it and then do that and spin."Heisinger gave a dramatic sigh. "All right, Amanda, you are correct. I apologize again. My—our—frustration here has been extreme. But OK." Oh, hell, of course OK," replied Toshimura. "It's just— dammit, I'm jealous, too. You got to make all this stuff up on your own, and now we can't do the same, we have to hew to the company line—really to your.
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